"Instead of striving for certainty, we should be in constant search of doubt, doubt about our beliefs, doubt about our own feelings, doubt about what the future may hold for us unless we get out there and create it for ourselves. Instead of looking to be right all the time, we should be looking for how we're wrong all the time. Because we are."
- Mark Manson. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK
I'm sure you've seen the bright orange book cover with the bold statement of dropping an F bomb in the title (he's obviously not as concerned about his Mom reading as I am). If you haven't, I highly recommend you go find Mark Manson's book and read it. It's filled with amazing, no BS wisdom that everyone can relate to. His idea of opening our eyes to where we're wrong really hit home for me.
Last week I wrote about my inner perfectionist and it's powerful ability to keep me stuck. I also refer to that nasty little voice as the 'voice of doubt' because it relentlessly questions everything I am and everything I do. The one that subtly whispers 'you can't' or at times screams out 'you suck'. Some of us may hear it louder than others but we all have it. It's human nature.
Imagine how boring the world would be if we all listened to it.
You know those people that are out there doing all those amazing things that you admire them for. The ones doing the things you dream of.
They have a voice too.
Here's the secret: they just don't listen to it.
They've somehow managed to rise above the voice of doubt. Does that mean they never hear it again? Of course not. Like I said before, doubt is relentless. Quieting the voice and finding courage is a lifelong, constant practice.
Last January, I wrote A Blessing in (a Nasty) Disguise. It was the most read thing I have ever shared with the world and I received countless messages from people saying that reading it helped them in some way.
And I almost didn't post it.
By the time I left the coffee shop that day, I'd convinced myself that it didn't really have a point and shouldn't be shared. That maybe it was 'oversharing'. That the past is the past and I should just leave it there.
I guess hidden somewhere behind the doubt, I knew that people needed it so that night I had my boyfriend read it. He assured me that it was good, it did have a point, and it should be shared. He quieted the doubt (momentarily). So I posted it but even as I hit publish that doubt was on high volume. I was shocked at the response and know that it helped people which is what I hope to do with this blog.
In this case, I was able to conquer doubt by seeking an outside opinion. But in reality, we don't always have family and friends to reassure us and if we called them everytime we doubt ourselves, they're going to get really sick of us - fast.
So how do we fine tune the muscle of recognizing where we are wrong?
We start questioning ourselves. We pay attention to what we're thinking and we stop taking everything we hear as absolute truth, especially when it's about ourselves.